two months isn't that long is it? Profound truths for you.

Ok, so maybe a good blogger doesn't take almost two months in between posts, but maybe having a job make this blog illegitimate by name...  Whichever the case may be I am feeling badly abut leaving this thing n the vine when countless (6) people were depending on me to deliver the goods (useless wastes of time).  So a lot of important things have happened in the past couple of months.  I have learned some profound truths that I will now begin listing (maybe even without 2 months between them) for the benefit of the lives of both people reading this.

Truth #1 - padding your resume is fun!
    As a formerly jobless minister I was feeling the need to pad the old resume so that I might appear more important and talented than I am (you know how it works)  For instance thus far I have these things I can technically claim, but really mean nothing.

1. I am a professional athlete - (translation) I once won 1/4 of a $200 prize in a bowling tournament.  I was asked at the last minute to join a team of serious bowlers who carries me and my pathetic score all the way to a second place finish. this technically makes me a professional since at the time I was in seminary and making no money.  Webster defines professional as "a person engaged in a specific activity as their main paid occupation" *** sidenote*** I was always made to believe that professional athletes get special perks and girl's phone numbers - surprisingly I received neither after our glorious victory.  It seems this triumph played absolutely no role in my wife's initial interest in me..
2. I am a professional Ballet dancer - (translation) In college I was deemed qualified (I was over 6'2) to fill the role of the King's guard in the world renown London Royal Ballet's performance of Sleeping Beauty by Tchaikovsky.  I was paid $50 a show to stand next to the king in tights and body armor that made me look buff (quite the opposite visual effect that the tights produced)  Given my state of financial vacuousness  this was the only thing I was getting paid to do at the time, this was by definition (for a week) my profession.
3. I am now a professional writer - No I am not claiming that anyone who be dumb enough to give me money for this blog.  I did, however, get the chance to write an article for Christian Single magazine - yes it is a real magazine not open I am writing form my house .  Being paid to write an article on doubt makes me (as a man otherwise unemployed at the time) a Professional Writer!  Now you and I know that doesn't  mean much but it won't keep me from padding my resume with it.  Oh...and don't tell my mom it is not a big deal because she thinks I am famous now. of course Webster defines famous as "known about by many people".  Known is defined as "recognized, familiar with..." 

I, Michael Dixon, am in fact, a Famous professional athlete, ballet dancer, and author!  Who wouldn't want to hire that guy!

Comments

[Joe LaGuardia]

Ah, finally, after 2 months a high quality entry with much-needed humor. Now, if only those other FIVE readers will comment, it will make the circle complete!